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I get my feelings hurt too easily. I take rejections too hard. I don’t know how to walk away from a broken heart. I spend too much time moping in my misery. I spend too much time dwelling on people who aren’t supposed to matter to me.

I’m too sensitive for modern dating. Every time someone ghosts me, they get inside my head. I know I’m supposed to shrug things off. I know getting ghosted means that we weren’t meant to be together, that they didn’t feel any sparks, that they weren’t interested in seeing me again. The message is obvious, so I should be able to move on. After all, not everyone is going to like me. Not everyone is going to fall head over heels. My head realizes that — but my heart has trouble grasping the concept. It has trouble dealing with rejection, even on the smallest scale.

I have a hard enough time dealing with unanswered text messages. Knowing someone else has (most likely) seen my message but hasn’t responded to me yet puts me on edge. It makes me wonder whether they’re playing hard to get or whether they aren’t interested in talking to me anymore or whether they only want me around on their terms, when it’s convenient for them, when I can give them something they need.

I think too much. And I feel too much. It’s the absolute worst combination in the world of modern dating.

If a first date goes poorly, I’m going to be upset about it for weeks. If someone leads me on and then starts dating someone else, I’m going to be upset about it for months. If someone promises me forever and then goes back on that promise, I’m going to be upset about it for years. I don’t get over my heartbreaks easily. It takes me a long time to heal, a long time to trust again, a long time to get back into the world of dating again.

It doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself that heartbreak is inevitable, that there are going to be plenty of relationships that aren’t going to work out, that getting my heart broken doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with me. Even though I know those things are true, it’s impossible to stop the pain. It’s impossible to turn off my emotions.

My problem is that I get attached easily. When I fall for someone, I fall hard. I pour everything into my relationships. I don’t take any half-measures. I’m either in or out. There is no in between. I realize it would be easier to date if I grew thicker skin, if I didn’t let everything bother me so much, but I can’t help it.

I’m too sensitive. I get my feelings hurt too easily. Every time I text someone or go on a date with someone or agree to get into a relationship with someone, I know I’m taking a risk. I know there’s a chance I could end up crying my eyes out into my pillowcase again. But it’s a risk I keep on taking. TC mark


Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/holly-riordan/2019/10/im-too-sensitive-for-the-world-of-modern-dating/

1. You’re not stupid. You’re not gullible. You’re not blind. Maybe there were red flags you should have picked up on earlier — or maybe your person did a good job of disguising their true feelings. Either way, it doesn’t matter now. The relationship is over. You shouldn’t replay the past in your head over and over again to figure out where it went wrong or you’ll drive yourself insane. You simply have to accept what happened without blaming yourself for not realizing it was about to happen.

2. It’s normal for you to be confused, to have a million questions, to wonder what the hell happened. Unfortunately, you aren’t always going to get closure. Sometimes, heartaches happen out of the blue. Sometimes, your person isn’t going to stick around long enough to explain their thought process to you — or just won’t be brave enough to face you after what they put you through.

3. Your heartbreak doesn’t change who you are as a person. When you’re mourning the loss of a relationship, it’s natural to feel insecure. But you’re not any less beautiful or intelligent or strong than you were when you were in a relationship. Nothing has changed at your core. You’re still the same person, so you shouldn’t resort to questioning yourself. There’s nothing wrong with you.

4. Your heart is stronger than you think. You’ve been thrown off by this heartache because you didn’t see it coming. You didn’t have time to prepare for it. That’s why it might take you a long time to deal with the shock, to get over your ex, to heal from your heartache. But don’t get it twisted. You are going to heal. Your heart isn’t weak. It’s more durable than you realize. One day soon, you’ll feel better again.

5. Life is unpredictable. And love is unpredictable. Unfortunately, there’s a risk that comes with every relationship. Whenever you hand your heart over to someone, you’re giving them the potential to crack it in two. That’s not something that should scare you moving forward, but it’s something you should always keep in mind. It will remind you to keep your standards high. It will remind you to choose your loves wisely.

6. You shouldn’t let change make you uncomfortable. You might have imagined your future with this person, but it’s okay that your vision of the future is going to change now. Change is natural. You’re changing as a person every single day. You’re constantly growing. Maybe this person was right for you when you first started dating, but maybe they’re not right for you anymore. Maybe you need someone who fits this evolving, maturing version of you better.

7. This isn’t a sign you’re unlovable or undateable. Just because one person hurt you doesn’t mean the next person is going to hurt you. You have to stay positive. You have to keep believing that the right person for you is out there and that they’re never going to put you through the kind of heartbreak you’re experiencing right now. TC mark


Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/holly-riordan/2019/10/7-reminders-for-when-you-didnt-see-your-heartbreak-coming/

8502030.jpg?width=853&height=1024&fit=boMandatory Credit: Photo by imageSPACE/Shutterstock (10404687g) Ansel Elgort ‘The Goldfinch’ Photocall, Toronto International Film Festival, Canada – 08 Sep 2019

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is complicated. And, Ansel Elgort, is adamant that love can exist without sex. The Goldfinch star got real about this idea in a recent interview with The Sunday Times. Elgort, 25, dove into the dubious topic as he discussed his goals for the next five years. 

“I’d like to have done a few plays and performed my music,” he said. “I’d also like to find a lot more love.” And Elgort, who’s been dating his girlfriend Violetta Komyshan since they were in high school, noted that that doesn’t mean he’s looking to have sex outside his relationship. Love is more nuanced than that, in his opinion. “It doesn’t need to be sexual. I could be done sexually with my girlfriend,” he told The Sunday Times. “I think we’ve been pretty clear that I want to feel free to fall in love with people and that [option] should be open, but sexually it can be closed off.”

He clarified that he’s “in love with a bunch of my male friends who I’m not interested in having sex with, so why can’t I put the desire to have sex with women aside and let myself have love with women?”

Some Twitter users joked that Elgort seemed to be hitting on something akin to friendship, quipping: “We’re going to help you learn about friendship, bro.”

ansel elgort on god we’re going to help you learn about friendship bro pic.twitter.com/ixGtu4KTDN

— sophie grace (@monseans) September 30, 2019

For the record, love can mean a lot of different things to different people. Previously, Refinery29 featured 37 definitions of love from strangers around the world. Their answers ranged from “#Loveis a sense of belonging” to “#Loveis mutual. For it to work, you need to give 100%, and be sacrificial and joyful.” 

For his part, Elgort says he loves Shailene Woodley, his co star in Divergent and The Fault in Our Stars. “We never had anything sexual and that was great,” he said. “There will probably be some sort of chemical thing at some point that you can’t help, but you just have to be disciplined… We’re primitive beings.”

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Celebrity Activists Are Fighting Climate Change

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Exciting Book-To-Movie Adaptations


Source: https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2019/10/8501831/ansel-elgort-open-relationship-love-without-sex?utm_source=feed&utm_medium=rss

When you love someone, you have to make sure you’re on the same page about the future. You have to make sure your visions line up. You have to make sure you share the same goals.

You might be madly in love with each other, but if you want completely different things than they want five years from now, then you don’t belong together in the long run. No matter how much you love them, you don’t want to give up your dreams for them. You don’t want them to resent you for changing their mind about their dreams either.

However, if you’ve already agreed you’re on the same page, if you’ve decided to keep your commitment to each other, then you need to navigate the future together. You need to make decisions as a team. You need to talk through your options to make sure each step you take together is a step forward.

Even though you’re still two separate individuals, the moment you make a commitment is the moment when you have to start thinking like a duo.

You shouldn’t make spur of the moment decisions without their input. You shouldn’t quit your job on a whim or agree to fly across the country to visit a friend for a month without discussing it with your person ahead of time.

No, the person you’re dating doesn’t control you. No, you technically don’t need their permission before you make a big decision. But you should respect them enough to get their opinion anyway. After all, their home is your home. Your future is their future. You’re in this together.

Once you make a serious commitment to someone, every single one of your actions impact them. If you make a risky, self-destructive choice, you’re not the only one who will have to deal with the consequences. Your person is on your side. They’re going to be weathering the storm alongside you when shit hits the fan.

You have to be mindful of your partner’s thoughts, feelings, and opinions — but in the end, you should always do what you think is best. You should go with your own gut. But at least be respectful enough of your partner to talk through the big things with them, like whether you’ll take a new job across the country or invite your parents to live in your spare room for six months.

No matter how serious your relationship has become, you should never forget who you are. You should never lose your sense of independence. Just because you’re in a committed relationship, it doesn’t mean you have to agree on every single decision. But you should at least talk through your decisions. You should at least navigate your futures together.

After all, if you’re with the right person, they’re going to encourage you to do what you think is best. They’re going to have faith in your decision making. They’re going to trust you to do the right thing.

When you love someone, you figure out the future together. You work as a team. You communicate. TC mark


Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/holly-riordan/2019/10/when-you-love-someone-you-figure-out-the-future-together-2/

Wendy Williams got some things off her chest during her Hot Topics segment. And she seemingly fired shots at her estranged husband Kevin Hunter Sr.’s alleged mistress. Catch the tea inside….

Wendy Williams was cutting up on her daytime talk show today.

During her Hot Topics segment, Wendy discussed Topshop heiress Chloe Green & #PrisonBae Jeremy Meeks’ break up. She talked about when she first found out that Jeremy and Chloe were dating, she joked about him poking a hole in a condom to get her knocked up. Chloe def had his baby, but likely not the way Wendy suggested.

”Poke a hole in the condom and get pregnant. But that backfired on me didn’t it,” Wendy said as she picked up her mug of tea and sipped.

The 55-year-old TV host was referring to her estranged husband Kevin Hunter Sr. cheating and having a baby girl with his alleged mistress, Sharina Hudson.

”I’m a fair game player and a straight shooter too,” she continued.

Wendy’s producer Suzanne Bass gave her props for “living her truth” and said she was proud of her.

”She regrets that the most though,” Wendy said, seemingly referring to Sharina having her husband’s baby. “Life is not what you think it is behind-the-scenes. TRUST. ME.”

The "straight shooter" then started acting as if she was cradling a baby, likely mimicking how Sharina is at home with her husband's new baby girl. 

"Home girl is mis-er-able! In the meantime, I’m over here like, ya know. That’s what you get.”

Ooop!

Is Kevin telling her these things about the condom and her being miserable, since she confirmed he's been trying to get her back? Is it believable? Or, is he lying (again)?

This isn’t the first time Wendy has spoken about her husband’s infidelity. Earlier this month, she talked about their uncoupling and said she was not in the business of raising someone else's child after being married for 22 years and being with Kevin Sr. for 25 years total.

The daytime talk show queen pulled the plug on their marriage, filing for divorce in April and the split was due to the fact Kevin Sr. had a baby outside of their marriage.

A mess.

Photo: Getty


Source: http://theybf.com/2019/10/02/wendy-williams-seemingly-shades-tf-out-of-estranged-husband%E2%80%99s-mistress-%E2%80%93-%E2%80%98shes-miserable%E2%80%99

photo adeleskepta1.jpg

Word on the curb is that British singer Adele is dating British rapper Skepta. And the news comes just weeks after she filed for divorce. Do we believe it? Sound off inside…

British singer Adele filed for divorce from her husband of 8-years, Simon Koneck, two weeks ago. Now, word on the curb is that she’s dating British rapper Skepta. Oh? The news comes from UK’s The Sun, so take it with a grain of salt, but usually where there's smoke, there's fire.

According to the publication, the 31-year-old singer and 37-year-old rapper – who was rumored to have dated model Naomi Campbell in 2018 – have been getting closer than close following their recent splits from previous relationships. It’s said Adele’s friends are “hoping” she and the rapper make it official.

"Adele and Skepta have been there for each other a lot after both their relationships split up. They have a close bond and there’s definitely a special connection," a source claimed.

Adele and her estranged husband split back in Aprill, but she just recently filed the divorce papers. It’s reported Skepta is the father of an 11-month-old child, becoming a first-time dad in November 2018. Adele shares six-year-old son, Angelo, with her estranged husband.He turns seven next month.

 “They are both private about their love lives and they are both committed to their children first and foremost as well," the source continued.

Less than two weeks ago, Adele stepped out to celebrate the Grime star’s 37th birthday during a night out at the Crystal Maze experience in London.

”They’re spending more and more time together. Some of their friends are hoping and predicting they could end up being a great couple one day."

They’re both are from Tottenham in North London. In 2016, the “Someone Like You” singer posted picture of Skepta – who was the Mercury Prize winner – and captioned it “Tottenham Boy” alongside a heart emoji. Skepta retweeted it with the words “love you” and a red rose emoji.

 

 

Tottenham Boy #konnichiwa pic.twitter.com/gs7wMhaaki

— Adele (@Adele) May 15, 2016

 

 

So it seems they have been friends for a few years. In an interview with ES Magazine, Skepta opened up about his friendship with his fellow Brit.

"Adele texts me all the time and keeps me in check," he admitted. "She speaks to me about how things are going,” he shared.

Neither of them have confirmed their relationship status as of yet.

When friends become lovers…IF this is true.

Photos: Getty


Source: http://theybf.com/2019/10/02/do-we-believe-it-adele-is-supposedly-rebounding-with-rapper-skepta

It sucks when you invest your time, energy, and affection into someone — only to realize you were a temporary part of their world. It sucks even more when the next girl who comes along convinces your ex to commit, to get married, to live out the version of happily ever after that you were hoping to live out yourself.

If this has happened to you more than a few times, it can make you wonder why you’re always the temporary one, the short-term one, the one who is only in love for a little while.

When you’re a temporary lover, heartache becomes your best friend. You don’t find it all that hard to form connections with people, but you have a hard time maintaining that connection. You have a hard time keeping the relationship alive. Since you’ve fallen for so many people who haven’t felt as strongly as you, you know what it feels like to get hurt. You know what it feels like to have your heart shattered.

When you’re a temporary lover, you wonder whether you’ve been doing something wrong. You’re good enough to convince someone to date you but not good enough to convince someone to keep you. After a while, they always become bored. They break up with you or cheat on you or find someone else. They’ll leave you alone while they wander off to find someone permanent, someone who isn’t you.

When you’re a temporary lover, you develop trust issues and commitment issues and abandonment issues. You’re afraid to get close to anyone because you’re afraid they’re going to leave the same way everyone else has left. You’re afraid you’re going to be the only one who grows attached, and will end up getting screwed over.

When you’re a temporary lover, you wonder whether there’s even a point in dating. You feel like no matter how hard you try to keep someone interested, they’re going to wander off after getting to know you. It doesn’t seem to matter how much effort you put into someone or how much space you give someone. Either way, you get the same results.

When you’re a temporary lover, you question every single move you make. You wonder whether you’ve been going about this dating thing all wrong. Should you stop using dating apps to find love? Should you stop moving so fast? Should you stop moving so slow? Should you wear something different, act different, text different?

When you’re a temporary lover, it can severely lower your self-esteem. It can trick you into feeling like you’re going to be alone forever, when really, you just haven’t found the right love.

When you’re a temporary lover, it’s easy to wonder whether you’re ever going to find someone who sticks around, but you have to hold onto the hope that the right person is out there. You have to trust that, once you meet them, they aren’t ever going to leave you. They aren’t going to be able to imagine a world without you. TC mark


Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/holly-riordan/2019/10/when-youre-always-a-temporary-lover/

Aries

Time alone.

Taurus

A spa day.

Gemini

A bottle of wine.

Cancer

Some quality time with friends.

Leo

A shopping spree.

Virgo

A plane ticket.

Libra

A gallon of ice cream.

Scorpio

Some weed.

Sagittarius

A rebound.

Capricorn

A break from dating.

Aquarius

A haircut.

Pisces

A long hug. TC mark


Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2019/10/what-each-zodiac-sign-needs-after-a-bad-breakup/

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